The DrugTerrorMedia War

Taking a second gander at the drug war terrorist war media war:

Instead of diverting taxpayer billions from the failed drug war in order to pursue the now failing terrorist war, our Washington wiseguys have decided to make it a two-fer war. The war-merging commenced when the Office of National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP), which as easily could stand for Officious Narks Disseminating Crude Propaganda, asserted in two Super Bowl disinfomercials that buying politically unacceptable pharmaceuticals bankrolls terrorists.

Print ads continued in a similar collapsed vein: "Last week I washed my car, hung out with a few friends and helped murder a family in Colombia . . . C'mon, it was a party."

Speaking of parties, The Libertarian Party kindled a media war with full-page ads in the Washington Times and USA Today featuring a mug shot of Narko Nabob John Walters. Superimposed across his nose (roughly where you'd expect to find a white powder cocaine mustache) was the message, "This week, I had lunch with the president, testified before Congress and helped funnel $40 million in illegal drug money to groups like the Taliban."

The Drug Policy Alliance anteed up their own broadside in the Capitol Hill Roll Call newspaper, this time sporting a Prez Bush puss overlaid with, "This month, I watched the Super Bowl, wasted 10 million taxpayer dollars on a deceptive ad campaign and shamelessly exploited the war on terrorism to prop up the failed war on drugs. . . . C'mon, it was just politics."

Ignoring the actual content of the counter ads, a spokes-nark responded with side-stepping smiley-face spin: they're pleased with the LP and DPA anti drug war slash terrorism ads because it promotes debate. Right. Like bureaucrats really want their elitist decrees debated.

The same nark barker then crowed, "After the Super Bowl and just one showing of those ads, an independent poll showed that over 50 percent of people who saw them could articulate the message in them." Which seems to be about 100 percent better than this guy could do with the anti drug war ads.

But the 50 percent who couldn't "articulate the message" from the Officious Narks' best efforts might explain why the TV spot called "AK-47" came complete with subtitles. In it, a faceless, shadowy character goes on a shopping spree, buying stuff like a fake ID, a computer, plastic explosives, an AK-47, and even the infamous box cutters while big white block letters coax us along with "computer", "plastic explosives", "AK-47" and "box cutters". Some of the same stuff that gets little Guido Gunlock expelled from elementary school for drawing Crayon pictures of. (I kept wondering why the terrorist wasn't shown buying the latest weapon of mass destruction identified by the Consumer Product Safety Commission, the fearsome Daisy Assault BB gun.)

The tag line asks, inevitably, "Where do terrorists get their money? If you buy drugs some of it might come from you."

(Where do car thieves get their cars? If you buy vehicles, it's your fault. Where do burglars get their money? If you buy DVD players, it's your fault. Where do muggers get their money? If you receive a paycheck, it's your fault.)

But that Party mentioned earlier, the Libertarian one, told us in a news release way back in October where terrorists get their money. A few sample swatches:

1. In 2001, Sec of State Colin Powell dished out $43 million to Afghanistan for virtuously proclaiming that growing opium is "against the will of God." That was just part of $125 million in taxpayer's manna that the US rained down upon the Taliban that year.

2. Before storming Panama in 1989 we gave Mussolini wannabe Noriega $33.5 million worth of weapons, and kicked in another paltry $8.2 million to train his military.

3. Prior to the Gulf War, the Reagan and Bush I brainiacs supplied "critical military technologies" to Iraq which was then put to deadly use against the Kuwaitis whom we then had to bail out by spending more billions.

4. We gave Somalia $1 billion in aid which they thoughtfully returned to us in the form of M-16 rifle bullets, machine gun rounds, howitzer shells, and anti-tank missiles when our troops showed up to play in their civil war. (Thankfully, they didn't have BB guns.)

Wouldn't it be great if it was possible to hack into commercials and sabotage that obnoxious catchphrase?

Where do terrorists get their money

to buy weapons to kill Americans?

If you're an American taxpayer

they definitely get it from you.

UPDATE

From Associated Press:

Washington -- The Bush administration has agreed to Yemen's request to provide US troops to train its military in combating terrorists. A senior Pentagon official said the assistance would go beyond anti-terror training to include providing equipment and advice for operations by the Yemeni military.

From the Loose Cannon FutureNews file:

US troops invading Yemen suffered high casualties from the unexpectedly well trained and well equipped yemeni military.