Being that Thanksgiving Day is only a couple days away, I thought it might be a good idea for me to jot down a few of the things I am thankful for this season:

1. I am thankful that I am able to homeschool my 8 year old daughter; otherwise I might find myself in jail for not being current on her shots or worse, subjecting her to the military recruiters on campus that want to buy her future enlistment.

2. I am thankful that I'm not Lindsay Lohen. I don't think I could handle 84 minutes in jail (poor little precious snowflake); and of course, I am doubly thankful that I'm not some ordinary schmuck convicted of drug possession that is unable to afford a high-priced lawyer like this guy.

3. I am thankful that I'm not related to Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice or anyone in this, or supporting this administration. It would make for some seriously uncomfortable Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.

4. I am thankful that this is not my son and that these are not my daughters.

5. I am thankful that I am not married to some neocon homophobe caught having gay sex in a bathroom; I would have to say the following:

You want me to stand by your side at a press conference and tell the world how strong our marriage is and that I forgive you for making a laughingstock of me and our children because you wanted kinky sex in a public place?

What are you, retarded?

6. I am thankful that I am also not married to Don Imus, Rush Limbaugh, or (if I were a man)Ann Coulter. Because if I were, I'd have to wait until they were asleep and very quietly sew the sheets together, then commence to whale the snot out of them with a baseball bat-on account of them being too creepy for words.

7. I am thankful that the majority of Americans don't feel outraged at our government for the usurpation of our basic and inalienable rights or for wiping their asses on the Constitution- because if they were made aware of these facts there would be riots, marches and rightous indignation thereby forcing the powerful to realize that the have-nots far outnumber the haves and that the disenfranchised have been pushed as far as they will go. All this messy, inconvient chaos would get in the way of watching television and hitting the after Thanksgiving sales; and really, who wants that?

8. Lastly, I am truly thankful for from Reason to Freedom , Helen and Harry Highwater of Unknown News, Thomas Knapp and Rational Review, Claire Wolfe and Backwoods Home Magazine (if the defecation actually hits the rotating blades, we will all be forever indebted to Backwoods Home for invaluable information!), International Society for Individual Liberty (I personally think everyone over the ages of say, 4 would benefit from watching this!), Lazzaire Faire Books, Jews for the Preservation of Firearm Ownership, and the Fully Informed Jury Association.

These are but a handful of the selfless, caring, dedicated voices in the wilderness-the beacons of light in a dark world that help enlighten us every day of the year.

Oh, almost forgot, I am thankful to Al Gore for inventing the internet tubes; otherwise I would never had been able to access these wonderful sites