I've decided that American industries need an intervention- you know, the kind they show on television wherein some poor, addicted sap is waylaid by their family members and told basically, "Shape up or ship out".

In a move that should surprise no one, the Big Three Automakers have come begging for a bailout and are using their most potent weapon; dire threats of further economic collapse and job loss, as blackmail.

The reason that this is the very essence of non-news is that not only has the government bailed out one of the industry thugs before, but anyone with two brain cells to rub together can figure out that a business model based on products with engineered obsolescence and manufactured in an environment of out-of-control pensions and locked-in union contracts is going to be at the mercy of market trends. It is no secret that the Big Three has long been behind the ball insofar as alternate fuel/high-mileage vehicles for quite some time; preferring to reap huge profits on the SUV/pickup market at the expense of redesigning for fuel efficiency.

A perfect example is this past summer when gas prices shot up to the stratosphere and dealerships were scrambling to get rid of the land yachts that consumers were bypassing in favor of imports that made their gas dollars go a tiny bit further. And this wasn't the first time it happened; there simply has to be some members of the board in these companies that remembers the gas crisis of the 70s and what effect it had on large non-energy efficient automobiles.

All of this reminds me of what is euphemistically referred to as a substance abuser (cause calling them junkies would hurt their self-esteem and all) and the universal fact that you never, ever give them money. No matter how pitiful they or their poor children are, you try and help them in ways that avoided handing them actual currency because everyone knew what the cash would be used for. Instead you brought them groceries or shampoo or whatever was needed and hoped they didn't find a way to barter it for their fix.

Most of us have had at least some dealings with someone who are controlled by their addictions. They need the drugs,alcohol, or in this case, money and power and will speak and act in manipulative ways to get what they want when they want it and have zero compunction about finding manipulative ways to avoid the consequences of their actions. They will usually speak and act in pleasing ways to avoid conflict, but their goal is still to manipulate people into giving them what they want.

Not unlike the junkie that steals money from their child's piggy bank to buy their drug of choice, these Big Three companies are stealing from the taxpayers and future taxpayers in order to sustain their abusive lifestyle and avoid the consequences of their actions.

Another catchphrase in the field of substance abuse is enabling; which in this case would be all the politicians who take enormous contributions from the automotive industries and then pretend to be shocked that there might have been some teeny-tiny strings attached to the contributions. After all, their constituents would be out of work if the factories shut down and might look less than favorably on candidates that are no longer able to bring home the bacon...then OMG, there would be out-of-work politicians! So the politicians legislate in ways designed to overlook the flawed business models and kowtow to union officials while convincing their constituents that this is in their best interests. Makes calling in sick for your hungover spouse pale in comparison doesn't it?

Ultimately, in these substance abuse programs both televised and otherwise, the abuser is given two choices: either clean up your act or eventually die. That's it, no wiggle room. Even the nicest, most compassionate mother/doctor/lover/employer will eventually tell them to hit the road- the gravy train has left the station. Because at some point everyone gets tired of being used, some take longer to get there than others; but (except for possibly masochistic personality disorder types) people want balance in their lives. And anyone who has dealt with abusers know that word gets around about an easy mark; hand out cash a few times and soon you'll have every crackhead in the neighborhood coming around looking for scratch.

Which makes me wonder where this will all end- if taxpayers continue to bail out any and all industries that are having cash-flow problems, who might we see trying to stick their hand in our pockets? After all, both Wal-Mart and Target have come out with financial reports of lower quarterly earnings; how dreadful would it be if Americans were not able to buy cheap Chinese crap this holiday season?

Just as various schools of thought consider substance abuse to be only a symptom of other underlying issues (depression, impulse control, etc.) which cause one to go from user to abuser; perhaps this financial panhandling is merely a manifestation of an underlying desire for ever more government control.

And by removing the injection of taxpayer money to irresponsible companies, we avoid potential government takeovers of previously-free markets.

What delicious irony that the same government that spawned the "Just Say No" program now finds itself unable to say "no"!