Economics isn't "the dismal science" anymore. Not when your college research project involves carefully scrutinizing "clear, front-on photographs of Playboy Playmates of the Year" to determine how they relate to the US economy. That's a quote from a Reuters Health article, which implies that gazing at gatefolds of nekkid women is now a health issue as well.

The article also beat all of us to the "boom or bust" pun, so let's just push on. Psychology researcher Dr. Terry F. Pettijohn II and an undergrad student at Mercyhurst College in Erie PA claim a link between US economic conditions and subtle changes in the shapes of Playboy centerfolds. Their conclusion, after what must have been long, grueling, boring hours of making "precise measurements of key face and body dimensions" (don't snicker, this is serious stuff) is this: when the economy is booming men prefer soft cuddly sex-kitteny girls to romp with, but when times are hard we guys go for the boots and whip types who'll take care of us.

The research methodology involved correlating Playmates of the Year (known as PMOYs to aficionados and porn sites alike) from 1960 through 2000 to the social and economic conditions of each year. Just to flesh out this concept, so to speak, our intrepid investigators note that the boom years of the '60s produced both the youngest PMOY (18-year-old Donna Michelle, 1964) and the daintiest bi-fold babe (102-pound June Cochran, 1963). But 1993, one of the worst years on record for such economic and social indicators as unemployment, marriage and homicide rates, resulted in Anna Nicole Smith, the "fullest-figured" PMOY ever.

(After conducting my own research involving detached, objective field observations of her TV show, I've concluded that Ms Smith herself has undergone a lengthy period of severe inflation.)

The Reuters article didn't mention if this is yet another example of our tax dollars at work and, if so, whether the Laffer Curve can also be correlated with Playmate curves.

I must have missed the announcement establishing the Playboy School of Economics. Someone (name deleted by request) posted his Currency Project for Economics 296AA titled The German Deutsche Mark on the internet. To demonstrate the mark's purchasing power in relation to other currencies, the economist-to-be scrutinized the July/August 1998 edition of Playboy's Book of Lingerie. Ah, more long, grueling, boring hours of research. ("I only read Playboy for the articles!") We learn that this edition costs 22.50 German deutsche marks, 6.95 US dollars, 3.95 British pounds, 40 French francs, and 6.95 Canadian dollars. No precise measurements of key face and lingerie-clad body dimensions made it into the report.

Actually, all of this is nothing new. Economists have been getting into bed with Playboy, so to speak, for years. Milton Friedman was the subject of the monthly Playboy Interview in 1973. Benjamin A. Rogge's 1979 book, "Can Capitalism Survive?" began life as a paper presented at a business conference held at the Playboy Club in Lake Geneva WI. Rogge, apparently, survived. And when one William Kaliher needed to explain to a reader named Lydford on a web site called etherzone.com what government taxation does to our personal choices, his example was, well, "As an example we can use magazines. If the government takes our dollars we can buy less magazines than we might like. That means we can not economically vote for what we want as reading material. That might mean I like Playboy, Mr. Lydford likes Hustler, Joe Blow mentioned above likes High Times." This, obviously, is much more meaningful than making economic choices about washing machines or vacuum cleaners.

Another example: College of Wooster, Department of Economics, Week 12, Tuesday, April 15, Tentative Topic: Playboy Enterprises Case. (Pull those Playboys out from under your dorm room beds, students, and begin your economic analyses!)

The full Pettijohn study hasn't been released yet, so you're on your own for now. Get out your tape measures and polish up your calipers. The current PMOY is Christina Santiago. She's twenty-one, 5' 5", 108 pounds. She loves Eminem, hates her feet and "I can make my eyebrows move one by one. Pretty mysterious, huh?" Does that mean it's time to invest in washing machine and vacuum cleaner stocks or time to stuff your wad of green under your mattress next to your hidden stash of Playboys? It's your call.

Maybe libertarians should stop reading Mises and Hayek and start buying Playboy. But don't bother with the articles. Just look at the pictures. Honest, Dear, it's research.