politics

The Libertarian Party was founded to free each of us, finally bringing American governance into alignment with the mission of the Declaration of Independence. Go to Denver and make sure our candidate for President is the one who understands and has lived the message. Mary Ruwart for President.

We are Taxbucks. We say "we" because you never find one of us alone. Taxbucks always run in packs, usually in millions, often in billions, and ever more frequently in trillions. Many of us started life in a form known as "Money." Humans like to keep us tucked away somewhere until they want to swap us for something else. This swapping is called buying and selling. It's a trade that humans do voluntarily. If there's no swindling or other trickery going on, both sides are happy because both sides get what they want. We are happy when we are Money and we're being used by humans to make their lives better. We especially like working in a free libertarian society where coercion and intimidation and fraud are minimized to the fullest extent possible.

Now for the Nervous News at Nine. A bomb scare in Piddlyboro, Vermont. Police, sheriff's department, state troopers, SWAT teams, bomb squads, FBI, BATFE, Homeland Security, National Guard units and the town dogcatcher converged on a "suspicious brown paper bag" left unattended in front of Mother McRaggedy's Second Hand Store on Main Street. Following a six-hour standoff, a $190,000 remote-controlled ordinance-disposal robot was sent in. The bag contained an empty Mad Dog 20/20 wine bottle, left there the night before by Elmer Swilling, the town wino and dogcatcher. Grumbly Freehold, the county's only self-professed libertarian, later questioned why a Middle Eastern terrorist would want to blow up Mother McRaggedy's Second Hand Store in the first place. Or how they ever would have heard of Piddlyboro. Or Vermont.