Satire

Garry Reed's picture

Nigerian Scam Letter 4 U

It is to understand that you might be of somewhat apprehension because you do not know of me but I ensure I have a lucrative business proposal of mutually interest to share with you. My name is Hillaracko Bamajohn McClainton. I am the most leading of Candidates for to becoming the Presidency of the United States of the Americas. My Spouse was former President of the U.S. of the America and I am also the Neocon Hero of War and the Great Charisma Leader of The Change. I have a mutually favorable intention for you. I will needing you to assist me in executing a business venture between the Washington of the D.C. and your state of residing.

Garry Reed's picture

Deadly Sins for Everyone

Since the Catholic Church scored big with its first Seven Deadly Sins back in Century No. Six they've recently decided to do a sequel (Seven Deadly Sins II?). Predictably, the new Deadlies are a mix of politically correct, socially manipulative and ruling-class-friendly injunctions. And vague. What is "obscenely" rich? What is "social" justice?

Garry Reed's picture

Better Living Through Chemical Warfare

Keen-eyed observers of the Mad Scientist wing of the American military research complex have noted that the Pentagon is at it again. With so many billions of taxbucks tied up in building last century's mega-weaponry, such as fighters and bombers and aircraft carriers and space-based surveillance and assault platforms, one would think there would be nothing left over for dabbling in the development of "non-lethal" esoteric futuristic Weapons of Mass Derision. One would be wrong.

Garry Reed's picture

All Threats All the Time

Now for the Nervous News at Nine. A bomb scare in Piddlyboro, Vermont. Police, sheriff's department, state troopers, SWAT teams, bomb squads, FBI, BATFE, Homeland Security, National Guard units and the town dogcatcher converged on a "suspicious brown paper bag" left unattended in front of Mother McRaggedy's Second Hand Store on Main Street. Following a six-hour standoff, a $190,000 remote-controlled ordinance-disposal robot was sent in. The bag contained an empty Mad Dog 20/20 wine bottle, left there the night before by Elmer Swilling, the town wino and dogcatcher.

Garry Reed's picture

Evolution Run Amok

While some people don't believe in evolution at any speed, other people, such as the scientific types at the National Academy of Sciences, claim that human evolution is speeding up.

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