Science

"The scientific world is electrified today by one of the most significant discoveries of our times: the great majority of female short-nosed fruit bats love to give head. Possibly even more significantly, the nimble lust-crazed chiropterines are able to perform fellatio on a male bat who is taking them from behind at the time.

"These scientists had set up pairs of Cynopterus sphinx shortnosed fruitbats in romanta-love-tryst situations and then positioned infrared cameras to record the saucy antics which ensued.

"Marijuana Fights: Heart Disease, Cancer, Diabetes, Osteoporosis, Alzheimer's, Liver Disease, Epilepsy, Skin Allergies, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety and Depression. And is also Neuroprotective and Causes Neurogenesis (brain cell growth)..."

Global warming and cooling, according to our more down-to-earth earth sciences scientists, seem to occur in 1500-year cycles. People's lifespans, something like 35 years or so for century after century before capitalism came along and, much to the chagrin of lefty hollowhead Marxist anti-capitalists who still blindly deny it, extended the average life expectancy out to 70 or 80 years or so, was just too short for people grubbing in the ground for their grub in the form of grub worms to take much notice of these great climate shifts. Today it seems that we are living in one of those 1500-year transition periods.

Global warming and cooling, according to our more down-to-earth earth sciences scientists, seem to occur in 1500-year cycles. People's lifespans, something like 35 years or so for century after century before capitalism came along and, much to the chagrin of lefty hollowhead Marxist anti-capitalists who still blindly deny it, extended the average life expectancy out to 70 or 80 years or so, was just too short for people grubbing in the ground for their grub in the form of grub worms to take much notice of these great climate shifts.